We've seen it for a while now: there's an erotic boom, an obsession with always projecting oneself in a seductive way. We can notice it in men and women, but much more so in women. And now, with the use of social media, it's even more evident. We find that this is how everyone from the most extravagant celebrity to the cooking influencer wants to show themselves, but it's also the same offline.

I'm not talking about taking care of your appearance or being dressed up even to be at home, or showing off the side of yourself that makes you most proud. It's that constant idea of emphasizing your body, making it more curvaceous, adopting unnatural poses, sexualizing your movements, wearing shorter clothes or with very provocative necklines and slits, even manipulating your facial expression to achieve a preconceived sensuality of parted lips and a lost gaze. That's not even considering those who manipulate themselves to enlarge or shrink areas with a similar goal, but that's a topic for another post.

This is a very interesting topic from many angles. It involves psychology, culture, and society. Scholars on the subject and ordinary people agree that we like to be liked, to be desired, and this is fine. However, I'm alarmed that people also claim that being "accepted" is important and that if we don't fit a stereotype, it doesn't happen.

That last analysis is a very superficial one, but it's clear that for many, it's true. And the issue is more serious than you might think because we're also talking about a primitive and savage instinct. The search for "sex appeal" is linked to universal desires because, since the beginning of times, sexual attractiveness has been a fundamental element in choosing a partner and procreation.

And that's all very well, but it seems to have gotten out of control, and now most people look like cats in heat, curling their curves to mate.

On the other hand, it has to do with self-esteem. For many, feeling sexy and desirable is a way to receive external validation and, therefore, is like a boost of confidence and security.

All of this also comes from the influence of the media and popular culture, which can be overwhelming. For too long, the advertising industry has used sexuality to sell. That's why marketing and consumption are among the most visible and powerful factors, and no matter whether the campaign is promoting a car, ice cream, or dental services, they always offer a sensual look.

In this way, we constantly and surreptitiously receive the idea that being sexy is okay, that it opens doors. We can see this clearly on social media, but also in the world of art and entertainment. Visually striking and sexualized content is currently rewarded. But behind those people who seem perfect, sensual, and confident, we should see how they feel about themselves, if they are truly satisfied, if they are happy, and what else is on their minds.

The problem is that this establishes a distorted standard to follow, a standard of beauty that is almost unattainable but constantly presented as the norm. And that's why "normal" people, whose bodies are shaped by their own genetics, eating habits, or routines, don't identify with it and sometimes get frustrated because they compare themselves and want to look closer to those models they consider ideal.

The social and cultural pressure is very strong. It generates a persistent competition based on the mistaken idea that beauty brings happiness and success at all levels, and even more positive qualities are attributed to it, when in reality, we often find that goodness has no face.

This doesn't mean that it's wrong to take care of your physique, go to the gym, and eat with your body in mind, even wanting to improve a certain part of yourself at all costs or wearing makeup and looking flawless 24/7. What's aberrant is that it's a mania, a narcissism, that it becomes the only thing that matters, that others are valued for it, that people believe that if you're not a certain way, you won't be accepted or find happiness.

I know that many women feel empowered when they perceive themselves as beautiful and that they do it for themselves, and that's fine if that's their method. The problem isn't wanting to feel attractive for the sake of it, but when it's the primary source of self-esteem, when it brings anxiety, eating disorders, and surgery at any cost.

Personal image isn't the center of identity and self-presentation; other characteristics that represent us and speak more about who we are also influence us.

Translated by Amilkal Labañino / CubaSí Translation Staff