The act of letting something go

Our passing through this world is so ephemeral, full of sacrifices, obstacles, and challenges by fluke, and on top of that, we feel attached to people, thoughts, situations, to so many things, sometimes incorporeal, sometimes material, that are determinant and affect us.

Dependence is not healthy. Sometimes, the twists of life force us to let something go while imposing on us emptiness that hurts. Hence, it is better to be more objective and unbiased, and not dragging any attachment that may hurt us as a way to be freer, happier.

The first step is to know what causes us that feeling of excessive attachment to the point of believing that we will not survive any other way, with absence. It is a double-edged comfort zone because on the one hand it pleases us, but it will not always be the best option when it becomes torture, or too heavy burden.

Secondly, it is important to be able to identify when it is time to move on, which would surely be better to do before getting fed up because holding on will only delay bad times. A relationship that is not working is the perfect example of this, or an ultra-absorbing job, which triggers more stress than benefits.

One point that makes us falter is the fear of loss, the uncertainty of believing that we will not be able to be better afterwards. And, of course, change can disorient us at first, but over time we will be able to be in peace with ourselves, and this will only be possible with new experiences, or with resignation, as is the case with the loss of a loved one, when unfortunately, we cannot repair the longing and we must continue with our projects.

Breaking away from attachments can be a hard task that sometimes requires psychological support. Experts start from the idea of well-being that will help us free ourselves from what suffocates us, which sometimes requires courage, true, but there may be no better way than acceptance to improve our quality of life. Change can make us reborn.

The problem with these unhealthy ties is that they offer, in some way, a feeling of safety. However, it is quite likely that this masked conformity is the key to all discomfort. And the good thing about specialized therapy is that it strengthens the positive thing we have in each of us, our self-esteem, and helps us manage our emotional stability, to admit that part of the process will not be pleasant, that it hurts, it will make us suffer, but it will be successful in the medium or long term.

Some general advice from psychologists is, first of all, to be honest with ourselves and express all pain and discomfort, because deception will only delay prosperity and it is essential to vent when we feel broken. Talking or writing it will be fine, crying on the shoulder of a confidant or alone will relieve. The important thing is not to remain content, nor to look for someone responsible or tolerate negative companies, but rather make us feel in harmony.

However, in the case of a breakup of a friendship or relationship, a pessimistic attitude, especially when it happens recently, only delays healing. In this case, distance can collaborate and perhaps in the future a healthy, different, but peaceful relationship can be maintained. In other cases, only total distancing is what will benefit us.

Depending on the case, perhaps not immediately because each person suffers their own grief process, but it is good not to refuse to try new things. This can help channeling our energy and keep our minds busy.

Therefore, learning to let go is not only an act of self-love, but also necessary to stay emotionally healthy.

Translated by Sergio A. Paneque Díaz / CubaSí Translation Staff