China: Kiss Date

This is called zui you or “kiss friends,” and it mainly occurs on the Internet and its regulations don’t allow any kind of romantic relationship or a second date between those involved.

Although many reject the idea and claim health risks, young people defend the idea, saying that it’s less complicated than sexual intercourse, brings them psychological benefits and don’t feel the pressure of being anybody’s partner.

There is consensus, however, that women should set limits, make it clear which are the unacceptable behaviors before dating and avoid places, such as bars, alleys or someone’s house.

This trend is added to others, such as “blind date boxes” or instant message services for so called “lonely frogs,” followed by many of the more than 92 million singles in China.

Its furor emerges at a time when the country is going through a significant drop in marriages due to factors, such as the decline in the young population, more men than women of marrying age, the decision to marry when they are more mature, and a boom in independent women.

This also shows how the new generations get away from old habits in a society that, although it’s more open and constantly evolving, values formal commitment between boy and girlfriends as an important issue because it’s linked to family and tradition.

For Nanjing University researcher Fei Junfeng, zui you has become more popular because it shows that many young people are not emotionally prepared to have a relationship due to the lack of experience in dating, low confidence and self-esteem.

“They want a close relationship, but are afraid of commitment and the emotions born out of it, while they worry about their ability to control them,” the mental health expert pointed out.